June 1st
11:03

1 note

SOCK CREATURE - Mazot the Whisperer

As I was recently followed by the exceedingly interesting tumblr called Societe des Monstres, a blog detailing versions of amazing Sock Creatures, among other things.

Sock Creatures - created by plush designer and all-round goodfellow John Murphy - are just that, creatures crafted largely out of socks, stuffing, buttons, thread, love and socks. Other clothing might also be involved at some point but it’s mostly socks. I thought I might post a couple of my own designs of that nature from times past. This time: Mazot the Whisperer.

(John has a new Stupid Creature book out in October, and I hear it’s going to be even better and more brilliant than the first. In case you’re in need of Xmas present ideas for that creative person in your life…)

MAZOT, (Pronounced “MAZ-owh”), (Noun). Legendary miniscule red, bat-like freak said to haunt leafless trees, broken lamps, and the unsuspecting. Known for his rolled-up wings, intensely interested eye and convulsive grin, Mazot’s preferred method of making his presence known is to whisper seemingly nonsensical secrets to whomever is nearest, and then wait until circumstances change enough for these secrets to make sense to the listener but become totally useless. Mazot will then make rude gestures, dance the Hornpipe, and improvise several cruel insults before running back to his hidden lair.
Travellers who have encountered Mazot have been able, according to folk myth, to avoid his legendary machete-sharp wit by challenging him to count his toes - a task he finds frustratingly difficult, being unable to tell the difference between his feet and his wingtips - or to offer him slices of mango and a diplomatic hug for his trouble. Should Mazot whisper in your ear, immediately swat both of your shoulders and think of a memorable occasion that will prevent you from recalling his words and becoming the subject of his joke. This will not stop him from laughing at you; but it will make him look like an idiot.

10:59

0 notes

SOCK CREATURE - Goblin Mark

As I was recently followed by the exceedingly interesting tumblr called Societe des Monstres, a blog detailing versions of amazing Sock Creatures, among other things.

Sock Creatures - created by plush designer and all-round goodfellow John Murphy - are just that, creatures crafted largely out of socks, stuffing, buttons, thread, love and socks. Other clothing might also be involved at some point but it’s mostly socks. I thought I might post a couple of my own designs of that nature from times past. This time: little Goblin Mark.

(John has a new Stupid Creature book out in October, and I hear it’s going to be even better and more brilliant than the first. In case you’re in need of Xmas present ideas for that creative person in your life…)

‘Goblin Mark is small and dark’.

A drifting gnome, he wanders in the big city, looking for a purpose and a wet puddle to soak his feet in. Though he’ll never breathe a word to you, he says enough with his round yellow eyes and his peculiar legs to satisfy anybody. Some people say that when he was young, he wasn’t so small or dark. Some others say he is the child of a lonely Pirahna and an unsuspecting Squid, so you’d better be careful about what you believe…

(Goblin Mark is named after the Christina Rossetti poem Goblin Market.)

10:57

1 note

SOCK CREATURE - Lisabetta

As I was recently followed by the exceedingly interesting tumblr called Societe des Monstres, a blog detailing versions of amazing Sock Creatures, among other things.

Sock Creatures - created by plush designer and all-round goodfellow John Murphy - are just that, creatures crafted largely out of socks, stuffing, buttons, thread, love and socks. Other clothing might also be involved at some point but it’s mostly socks. I thought I might post a couple of my own designs of that nature from times past. This time: wise, aged Lisabetta.

(John has a new Stupid Creature book out in October, and I hear it’s going to be even better and more brilliant than the first. In case you’re in need of Xmas present ideas for that creative person in your life…)

Lisabetta’s arms are long, curly and uniquely huggable.

In her old age, she can reflect on the happy years she’s lived out since leaving school - and the many people she’s met along the way. A glistening tear may well up in her turquoise eyes, but she’ll wipe it away quick - there’s always someone new to meet down the road…and plenty who’d like to sit on her bench.

10:38

1 note

SOCK CREATURE - Hoteh

As I was recently followed by the exceedingly interesting tumblr called Societe des Monstres, a blog detailing versions of amazing Sock Creatures, among other things.

Sock Creatures - created by plush designer and all-round goodfellow John Murphy - are just that, creatures crafted largely out of socks, stuffing, buttons, thread, love and socks. Other clothing might also be involved at some point but it’s mostly socks. I thought I might post a couple of my own designs of that nature from times past. This time: Hoteh, the Bookshop Monster.

(John has a new Stupid Creature book out in October, and I hear it’s going to be even better and more brilliant than the first. In case you’re in need of Xmas present ideas for that creative person in your life…)

How did we get the thing? What thing? Oh, you mean Hoteh! Well, that’s certainly a funny story, now that I think of it. Haven’t told anyone before, really. He just turned up, one morning, at the school doors. He didn’t look like he does now, though. We thought he was a baby bird, he had this big protruding thing, like one of those Egyptian birds - Ibises, right. That dropped off as soon as he had his first meal, and he had those lovely red teeth just underneath.

Why, books, of course! What else would a library monster eat? That’s a funny thing, too. You know how they use leeches in hospitals? Well, yes, they do, apparently. And it might sound all yucky, but the leech know exactly what kind of blood is ‘bad’ and what’s ‘good’, you know? And bad blood must taste delicious, because it drinks it down like a swallow. Well, Hoteh is the same for books. That’s how come he’s the assistant. If you ever try to take a book out of this school library, and it’s wrong for you, he’ll be there like a shot with his big fat legs all over it.

What do you think I mean by ‘Wrong’? A book you won’t like, of course! Hoteh hates people to be unhappy while they’re reading. If it’s a really bad book, he eats it himself to save you the bother. Then he’ll point you in the direction of a good one, just to say sorry for frightening you. He’s nice, like that, is Hoteh.

(Hoteh is currently owned by an individual in Australia.)

10:29

0 notes

SOCK CREATURE - Phantom Jim

As I was recently followed by the exceedingly interesting tumblr called Societe des Monstres, a blog detailing versions of amazing Sock Creatures, among other things.

Sock Creatures - created by plush designer and all-round goodfellow John Murphy - are just that, creatures crafted largely out of socks, stuffing, buttons, thread, love and socks. Other clothing might also be involved at some point but it’s mostly socks. I thought I might post a couple of my own designs of that nature from times past. First up: the inimitable Phantom Jim.

(John has a new Stupid Creature book out in October, and I hear it’s going to be even better and more brilliant than the first. In case you’re in need of Xmas present ideas for that creative person in your life…)

When you take a short walk at night and hear a noise, and that noise seems to unsettle you, and you perhaps turn around and say “Who’s there?” or “What was that?” or even “I hate that cat almost as much as I hate taking short walks at night, unless accompanied by music or a friendly companion”. Yet nothing is there when you turn around.

This is because you have heard the strange echo of the Jester Shades. Unknown amongst professional fools, they live in the dark space percieved in our world as shadows, and they spend their brief lives compiling the punchlines to Dark Humour and making sure that Peace, Love And Understanding never stop being funny.

Phantom Jim was born in the world of the Jester Shades. He got out of it in the same potato-curling incident that burnt off his other three limbs. He is resplendent and proud in his dark curled waistcoat and his green glowing eyes. Imperiously he strides the streets of Canterbury seeking fresh stooges to mock and old jokes to crack over his knee. No power in the world can stop him!

(He would VERY much like to go home now please.)

May 31st
08:43

2 notes

FOUR RIDDLES - Air

The first in a selection of riddles written and painted by me for the “MAKING Sense” art and writing exhibition put on by the Ladies & Gentlemen. It can currently be viewed at the Staff Common Room in Darwin College, Kent Uni.

Each riddle is based upon one of the four classical ‘elements’.

Each solution is an animal found in Britain.

Each painting contains a visual clue to the solution.

08:42

6 notes

FOUR RIDDLES - Water

The first in a selection of riddles written and painted by me for the “MAKING Sense” art and writing exhibition put on by the Ladies & Gentlemen. It can currently be viewed at the Staff Common Room in Darwin College, Kent Uni.

Each riddle is based upon one of the four classical ‘elements’.

Each solution is an animal found in Britain.

Each painting contains a visual clue to the solution.

08:42

3 notes

FOUR RIDDLES - Earth

The first in a selection of riddles written and painted by me for the “MAKING Sense” art and writing exhibition put on by the Ladies & Gentlemen. It can currently be viewed at the Staff Common Room in Darwin College, Kent Uni.

Each riddle is based upon one of the four classical ‘elements’.

Each solution is an animal found in Britain.

Each painting contains a visual clue to the solution.

08:42

2 notes

FOUR RIDDLES - Fire

The first in a selection of riddles written and painted by me for the “MAKING Sense” art and writing exhibition put on by the Ladies & Gentlemen. It can currently be viewed at the Staff Common Room in Darwin College, Kent Uni.

Each riddle is based upon one of the four classical ‘elements’.

Each solution is an animal found in Britain.

Each painting contains a visual clue to the solution.

May 28th
16:16

2 notes

BAD ART - Mousey Mousey

You know what, I’m too tired for descriptions. So you get a mouse eating corn.

YOU’RE WELCOME TUMBLR.